I don’t understand how some people have such booming social lives, or how people can know so many people. I’ve always been the type of person who has 1-3 good friends at a time. Quality over quantity, you know?
I was thinking about that today, and then I started thinking about Rex (my boyfriend). We’re kind of complete opposites in a lot of ways. For instance, I’m kind of a computer/internet geek who has been making internet friends for over ten years and is incredibly introverted.
I don’t think Rex has a single internet friend. Yet, he has over 1,000 Facebook friends. And he knows them all in real life.
I literally cannot wrap my brain around this concept.
Not only does he have over 1,000 Facebook friends, but I’d be willing to bet you could point to any one of them (not exaggerating here), and he’d be like “oh yeah, that’s so and so’s brothers ex girlfriends sisters fiance’s step-cousin who works at this place downtown, who I met at this one party, and so-and-so introduced me, and then we talked about [insert a band or something], and they have really great stories about interacting with giraffes while wearing protective goggles.” I don’t know, just weird ass connections and random facts about everyone.
I imagine that every time he does this (go into excruciatingly specific detail about people he knows), my eyes gloss over and a little drool drips out of my mouth as I sit in a sort of bewildered stupor, wondering how the hell anyone can, a) know that many people, b) remember that much stuff about someone you met a handful of times.
I mean, I’m agoraphobic. This blog mostly deals with me being agoraphobic/anxious as hell, and trying to go places. Every time we go somewhere, he will inevitably run into someone (or lots) of people he knows. Dude, like how? How is that even possible?
I think maybe he is curious as to how I know so few people? Because, if you’re used to knowing so many people, it might be weird to think about not knowing a ton of people. Like how I think it’s so freaking weird that he knows every single person ever. And he has a person for everything. Car broken down? He has several car connections that will just come help him out, and several locksmiths. I mean, I’d be willing to bet he knows someone in any given profession that is useful (except a vacuum repair man. What the hell, Rex? It’s okay, we got our vacuum fixed anyway, thanks mom!). So, not every profession, but a lot. EDIT: after posting this, he has informed me that he has known vacuum repair people in the past. Of course he has. He also has informed me that you probably don’t want to know vacuum repair people because they are predominantly tweakers. Duly noted.
Anyway, it’s like 4:30 in the morning and I’m up in bed, less than two weeks from my due date, and everything is uncomfortable and hot and itchy and achey and stupid and bloated, and I was spacing out thinking about how weird it is to know so many damned people. And I was going on a rant in my own brain about it, and decided to rant about it via keyboard for you, wonderful, beautiful reader.
Also, I have been making progress with exposure therapy and driving… except that I’m so freaking pregnant, and I feel huge and nauseous and bloated, and it’s really hot every day, and everything feels like it’s way harder than it should be. As Rex keeps telling me, “you’re playing life on hard mode right now.”
But. I have been making it to more places, and I’ve gone places that I have been unable to reach up until this point.
Like this park.
Oh, and I finally confronted the light that has been the bane of my existence for the past six months or so. And it wasn’t a huge deal. And I went to Walgreens. And they were selling a ton of Nightmare Before Christmas stuff, and I went crazy and probably spent too much money on halloween stuff, but I figure it’s been one of my goals to make it there for 6+ months, so it’s okay and I shouldn’t feel bad about it.
And red lights have been getting easier. And some other stuff too. And I’m thinking that maybe this anxiety stuff will keep getting better. I hope it keeps getting better. I think it will.
I leave you with a song by one of my favorite people. I could probably rant a lot about Erik Peterson (Mischief Brew), but It’s getting closer and closer to 5 AM, so maybe I’ll save my rantiness about him for another day. In the meantime, enjoy, and thank you for reading ❤
Also, I’m just posting this without reading anything back. Here’s to hoping I’m good enough at writing to avoid bad spelling and grammar.